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What Paul and Barnabas’ Relationship Breakdown Can Tell Us About Our Own Relationship Breakdowns in the Church

March will be about women, so for this week and next week, I want to point out inspiring men of God, men that we don’t know a lot about, and encourage us in what we can learn from them

We don’t know too much about Barnabas, born Joseph, but he was a Cypriot Jew from the tribe of Levi who grew up in Cyprus, and it’s because of him that many new churches in the first century were established. We know from Acts 4:37 that he sold his own land, “a field” and gave the money to the Apostles. And, that he worked from his own means, not depending on the church for financial survival.

I think what’s fascinating about Barnabas is that he took Saul (later the Apostle Paul) under his wing when no one else would. Saul was a very devout Jew, but devout to his own detriment and others to the point that he was a terrorist. Pre Damascus-Road, Saul killed and persecuted any followers of “The Way,” as that’s what Christians called themselves at that time. But when Jesus appeared to Saul, confronting him about his persecution of Christians, he became a changed man, so it’s no wonder why Godly men during this time was scared to trust the transformed Saul. But, Barnabas did (Acts 9: 26-31).

Both Barnabas and the Apostle Paul studied under Gamaliel, a teacher and the Harvard Jewish law teacher all wrapped into one man. When one studied under Gamaliel they knew the Old Testament, Bible history, and the significance of the prophets accurately. These two men trained together and Paul accompanied Barnabas on many missionary travels, as the Spirit would guide them. The Jerusalem church trusted to send Barnabas to Antioch, the third most important city in the Roman Empire. The Bible calls him a “good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith” (Acts 11:25).

The two men have a bitter dispute

But sadly, as sometimes happens with us in church community, Paul and Barnabas fell out, bringing their missionary journeys together to a halt. They had a disagreement about including John Mark on one of their missionary journeys. Barnabas wanted John Mark, who was his cousin (Colossians 4:10), and Paul didn’t, as John Mark had abandoned them on a previous journey. But later, in life, Paul acknowledge that Barnabas had done good in training John Mark, and we find in 2 Timothy 4:11 that Paul says he [John Mark] was useful to me.”

What we in the church can learn today

In the church we’re a family but let me tell you, I’ve had some people in the church to really hurt me or greatly annoy me. Over a cup of coffee, I could rant and rave, wanting to put aside what God has commanded me not to do- gossip and keep a record of wrong. And I’m sure at the time, Paul was livid, hurt, annoyed and ticked at Barnabas for wanting to keep John Mark around because that was his cousin. John Mark wasn’t reliable after all and there’s nothing more annoying that those who aren’t reliable.

We don’t see God interfering in any way. Perhaps God let it play out, as the two men separated- Paul taking Silas with him and Barnabas taking John Mark. And division is sad and unfortunately happened between these two great men of God, as it happens between us as brothers and sisters in Christ.

But, I guess what I have to say is that as I get older and I’ve been hurt enough, I do my best to minimize division. Sometimes it’s just going to happen and sometimes we need space from another. I don’t think that either man was wrong and it’s clear that John Mark must have grown up and matured under his big cousin Barnabas, because Paul later compliments Barnabas’ training John Mark.

Often what’s a big deal to us will pale on the larger scale of salvation. We need to ask ourselves: ‘before I walk away, will this division be worth it, is it really that bad?’ Maybe Paul could have said, ‘we’ll try it with John Mark this time but if he abandons us again, Barnabas, he’s got to go until he’s serious about ministry!’ And maybe Paul said that. But you see what I’m saying, before division happens and years of not talking (which sometimes is necessary), we should try and take as many peaceful steps as possible. Let’s look inside ourselves and try to find peaceful Christ-centered solutions to work out our problems, which affect not only ourselves but others as well.

Happy Friday! God bless you and go bless someone else this weekend!

Photo Credit: Le Bon Combat