Hi Lady, Who Are You?

What does it mean to me to be a woman?

To me, being a woman has developed over time.  God saw that man alone was not enough and He created women. How amazing is that? God gave women the ability to bring life into this world, women are the ones that keep the life cycle going. In thinking about this, there is also a weight all women carry. Because God gave women the ability to bring life into this world, women are in a constant state of feeling the need to support, provide and care for others in a way that can be detrimental for us. An elaboration on this sentiment will arise later in the article but first, I want to touch on my journey through womanhood.

So, when does one truly become a “woman?” What does it mean to be a woman? To me, these are loaded questions. What it means to be a woman is up to that individuals' interpretation.  Your "coming-of-age" journey doesn't have an end date. Women and men are always being sanctified in Jesus, and as Christ-focused people go through life, they will continue to go through their coming-of - age journey of womanhood and manhood.

My journey into womanhood was a whirlwind. The ebb and flows of my prepubescent period were exhaustive. However, I felt that one day, I would become this amazing woman. In my desire to become the woman that I thought I wanted to become, I lived up to everyone's expectations of me. As you have probably noticed, that was not a sustainable pursuit. So, let me address what it meant for me to be that woman I was striving to be. At that moment, I did not fully know but, I did not want to experience the unknown so, I committed to living up to expectations. I knew the examples of women I saw before me and thought, well, I am going to learn from them and live up to the ideals they had for me. What I failed to realize was, that was not who God created me to be.  I was living for the things I could control and grasp, not all that God had for me.

In my pursuit of womanhood, I was developing into the woman God created me to be but I was constantly influenced by the expectations and desires others had for me too. I allowed myself to be seen as a southern woman, a woman of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated, a gentlewoman, an educated woman, a Christian woman- all good things but, what I failed to realize was that those identities did not solely define who I was.  I had to sit down and be completely vulnerable with myself to figure out who was this woman that I stare at in the mirror. Who is this woman that God created me to be? I had to push away the noise of what I was told to be due to others' expectations and interpretations of me and ask God.’ Who am I? Who is this woman you created me to be?”

These were not easy questions to ask God. It was a question I was not fully ready to hear the answer to at the time because I spent so much of my life living up to the expectations of others. Yes, I accomplished a lot in life and yes, my experiences and values shaped me into the woman I am today but I could not/cannot allow them to define me. I define who I am and thankful to serve a loving a gracious Father who placed people in my life to support and love me as I figure out who is this woman I am becoming.

Life is a beautiful journey. I cannot give you the answer to what it means to be a woman. I can only tell you that once you sit down, get alone with God, look in the mirror and allow all the expectations, notions, and beliefs of whom you are supposed to wipe away, then you will be able to see the woman God created you to be. Be gentle with yourself on your pursuit of wholeness with the Lord. Become the powerful, passionate, loving, and gracious woman God wants you to be and always believe in yourself.