What Makes A Good Marriage? - Adrian and Rebecca's Story
Getting married in September.
Living in New England, USA
If I had to summarize our journey to engagement in a phrase, it would be: God’s faithfulness
When we met, we were both coming off of unexpected disappointment and heartbreak. Adrian had just moved for work and by God’s grace ended up at my home church. He was looking for friends and I was looking to find my place after returning from college and sometime abroad. We ended up in the same community group and I was immediately smitten.
We quickly became friends and that friendship only grew and flourished over the next few years. We had several “defining-the-relationship” chats over that time, with each one ending in friendship and nothing more. I knew after each conversation that the moment the relationship ceased to be one that pointed me towards Christ, I would have to let it go. So, I began praying almost daily, for God’s will to happen in our lives — whether that meant we ended up together or not. This isn’t to say the two and half years of “just friends” were always easy. It was painful to watch him go on casual dates and tell me all about them. It was even more painful when that relationship didn’t take off because I had already internally said goodbye to him.
But God is faithful and as Tim Keller says, “God always answers your prayers in precisely the way you want them to be answered if you knew everything He knew.”[1] And God knew what He was doing in our lives. He knew our initial hardships would lead us to a tiny state in New England. He knew that our perpetual friendship would give us the opportunity to grow together organically without any distraction. He knew I needed patience and time to sort through past wounds and become emotionally healthy. He knew Adrian needed time to adjust to a new community, grieve the loss of a relationship he thought would end in marriage, and understand more clearly God’s call on his life. He knew all this and more and, in His timing, He brought us together.
While our journey wasn’t straightforward, caused much confusion for others and sometimes ourselves, we’re so thankful for the last few years. We’re thankful we got to become best friends before committing our lives to one another. Mostly though, we’re thankful that God is the foundation of our relationship. He brought us together, helped us make the transition seamlessly, and is continuing to be our rock as we navigate family integration, the melding of two souls into one, and planning a wedding during difficult times. Trusting God with our hearts isn’t easy but it’s always worth it. We’re thankful for every “no" in our lives that led us to one another. We’re excited for marriage because we’re ready to continue to “spur one another on” for better or worse and everything in-between until move on to eternity with Jesus.
[1] Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God by Timothy Keller
Rebecca Lee
Rebecca is a photographer based in New England. When she’s not spending her time with her fiancé time thrift shopping, exploring new places, and laughing a lot — you can find her reading a new book, practicing watercolor or writing for her blog, In the Waiting.
Rebecca Lee is a photographer based in New England. When she’s not photographing newlyweds, she works as the Communications Director for her church. Nothing excites Rebecca more than exploring new places with friends, whether locally or abroad, except maybe a Miami Dolphin’s football game.